“I think the adrenaline of being in the play had meant that I hadn’t fully processed what had happened and so I just got on with it.”
“Then came defeat. I’d heard far too many stories of women with similar experiences who were never taken seriously, who never got the justice they deserved. I couldn’t get the whole world to believe me, nor could I realistically make this man’s life a living hell in the way I so desperately wanted to. Now I know that there are people who know about what he did to me, who have turned a blind eye. Now I know that others who have been accused of assault have not had their pristine “BNOC” reputations tarnished. Now I know that colleges won’t hesitate to completely overlook these allegations in order to preserve their public image. Rapists are in our universities, in our workplaces, even running our countries – what would stop him from doing the same?”
“I refused. Despite the flashbacks, the panic attacks, the ridiculous exhaustion, I fucking refused.”
“To any other twenty-something old guy out there who has gone through something similar, I have felt your shame, I have known your confusion and I have shared in your pain.”
The letters, articles and stories in this magazine are for all of us.
I don’t think there’s any forgiveness that’s going to come from me. I don’t think there’s any road back.
A woman advocating for women in sport, while coming to terms with her own experiences of sexual violence.
This was not your fault. You are not weak; you were not blind. This could have happened to anyone.
To every person that told me to get out and gave me the support I needed to do so – thank you.